A Look Back

Birthday girls in their birthday outfits!

As I reflect back on the last year, I find myself amazed at all that has happened. There were somedays (ok, MANY days) that I wondered how we would ever survive the first year with our twins yet, somehow here we are. One of Nate's cousin's recently had twins, and she called me up asking me how I did certain things with my newborns. I felt like I was of zero help to her because I don't know how we did it. It seems like such a blur now and the only thing I can say is I am 100% certain that we could not have done it without God. Somehow, He enabled us to rise to the challenge and He sent us angels in the form of family and friends when we were in desperate need of help. I may not remember everything from this whirlwind of a year, but I wanted to take the time to share a few memorable moments.

The girls were very confused when everyone started singing the birthday song

I remember the first six weeks or so, the babies had no idea the difference between night and day. Especially Lydia. She would wake up at 3:00 AM with no intention of going back to sleep anytime soon. We would take turns holding her and rocking her in the recliner and eventually fall asleep with her on our chests. Those nights were so long but I almost miss it. She just loved to snuggle up and be held and of course has little interest in such things now.

There was no confusion when it came to what they should do with the cake. They went to town on it!

Hey Nate, remember that time you woke me up in the middle of the night with your hallucinations? You were rocking the pillow back and forth and when I told you that wasn't a baby, you started frantically searching inside the pillowcase looking for her. Good times!

We had their party at the park with the Shepherd and Pendleton cousins. The girls absolutely loved the rocks! Lydia got her hand caught in the cookie jar in this picture trying to eat a rock!

Eden refused to look up at me because she was so enthralled with her rocks.

Remember that time I was struggling to get in the door of the store with the twins and the lady commented on how I had my arms full and then kept right on walking without even holding the door. Duh, my arms are full! A little help would be appreciated. Geesh!

They got a little messy with the cake so we had to strip them down. In an effort to get them to smile, everyone started playing peekaboo, but it backfired and the girls just played peekaboo too!

Lydia, remember when you had a massive blow out at Christmas and ended up with poop all the way up your back and into your hair? Yeah, that was gross! Eden, remember when you projectile vomited all over the restaurant at Silver Dollar City. You better bet we left a good tip!

I remember the days when I would snuggle in bed with both my babies (and Ollie at my feet) and all of us would take a nap together. Then they hit the age were they busted out of their swaddles and rolled around and that was the end of that, but I enjoyed it while it lasted.

Eden giving Lydia a ride on their new birthday toy from Grandma. They have two of these but still usually fight over the one. Silly girls!

I remember hitting my breaking point, more than once, and bursting into tears wondering what I was doing wrong. Why weren't my babies conforming to my delusions of what rearing children was like? I did reach a point where my emotional state had spiraled so low, and I had to really reevaluated my priorities and expectations. I had to quit being so hard on myself, Nate, and the babies. It was a difficult process and the crazy lady still appears at times but I've learned it's better to be happy with my reality than pining for my unrealistic expectations.

Peeking over the crib to watch Daddy work in the yard

I loved when the girls first learned how to smile and how to laugh. Those first couple of months, you feel like you're only a milk machine/bum wiper to your babies. But then one day you walk into the room and their faces light up and they give you the gummiest, sweetest smiles you've ever seen. Next thing you know, they learn how to giggle and chuckle. That right there is a slice of heaven on Earth!

Nate got a bike trailer for Father's Day and it's been a great investment. We love going for rides in the evening after dinner.

One of the girls favorite songs was "Tomorrow" from Annie. Whenever we were trying to elicit a smile or get them in a better mood, we started singing it at the top of our lungs and usually intentionally off key. They espeially loved when we belted out the high notes. They would just stare at us like you are the weirdest parents ever and then burst into smiles

Playing in the water on a warm day

I'm sure if I thought about it longer, I could write a short story entitled "Memoir of a Twin Mommy." I'll just leave it at this and say that this year has not been smooth sailing, but I'm happy to report our ship has not sunk! We take every day as it comes to us and just try to do our best. I hope our girls know we love them so much!