Monday, July 23, 2012

The History of Stupidity Repeats Itself

I have this history of stupid, self-inflicted injuries. There was that time when I roasted a marshmallow on a fork over the stove and then put the fork in my mouth. My lips had a four pronged blister for a week! Or the time I accidentally cut off the middle of my eyebrow with a pair of scissors. I'm still trying to figure out how I managed that one. Well you know what they say, history repeats itself, and my history of self-inflicted injuries has repeated itself three times in the last three days! 

Saturday morning, I bought a new bike and I was so excited to break it in and go for a ride on the trails around Lake Fayetteville. Unfortunately, my new, purple Mongoose's maiden voyage was doomed to the same fate as the Titanic's voyage. It went down! And just as the captain went down with the Titanic, so too did I go down with my bike.....twice. There were a couple of tricky spots along the way with giant roots growing in the middle of the trail, and I apparently didn't maneuver them very well. I had my seat up too high and couldn't reach my feet down in time to catch myself, so I took a tumble into the brush! Fortunately, I managed to land on a nice pile of leaves. I took two falls before I realized I needed to lower my seat. (Why two and not one is beyond me.) I escaped with only a few minor scrapes and bruises and enjoyed the rest of the ride. Luckily, my new bike is just as resilient as me and held up beautifully to the abuse I inflicted. 

Sunday, our friends Zach and Anna, invited us over for dinner. I was in charge of the salad and decided that I just had to have candied nuts in it. Of course, I forgot to buy them earlier in the week, so I determined I would have to candy some nuts myself. Should be easy enough, I thought to myself. When I caramelized some sugar, it just smelled so delicious and I simply had to have a taste. (Hey, it's quality control. I gotta make sure I'm serving edible food.) In my glutinous state, I forgot that sugar caramelizes at 320 degrees and stuck my finger right in that lava goodness.  I now have a blistered index finger to remind me. 

Today, I was so proud of myself for waking up early to fix dinner and throw it in the crockpot before I left for work. Alyssa gave me a new recipe for cilantro lime chicken that I was eager to try. I chopped everything up, tossed it in the crockpot, and washed my hands with soap and water. Then, I went to go get ready for work. Imagine my surprise and pain, when I went to apply my makeup and realized the jalapeno residue remained on my hands! My eyes felt like I dumped gasoline on them and put a match to it. I couldn't even open my eyes the burning was so bad. I tried to splash some water on my face, but quickly realized that was a dumb idea too since I was still using my hands. I finally put my head under the faucet and attempted to extinguish the burning with running water. I was blinded for several minutes, and needless to say, I was late for work this morning and never bothered to reapply my makeup. I decided to go all natural rather than risk another eye scorching moment. I will say that dinner turned out quite tasty almost making the whole fiasco worth it….almost. My advice: wear gloves when cutting jalapenos!

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