Saturday morning we packed our cooler, drove up to Missouri, rented a canoe and set off down the river. It wasn't long before we came across what looked like the Jersey Shore rowing crew. A group of rowdy, tattooed coeds in their twenties, drinking beer, smoking, and making out. We laughed to ourselves at how trashy they looked as we quickly paddled past them. We passed several more similar rafts and began to feel that we were in the middle of a spring break-type gathering. We were in for a surprise (and not a pleasant one) as we rounded the next bend and there it was: the floating trailer park! Hundreds of canoes, rafts, kayaks and tubes we're berthed in the widest part of the river, of which 99% of the occupants were intoxicated. We saw all ages of people from teenagers on up to grandpas who could be described as anything but classy. It took us a good fifteen minutes just to maneuver through the mass. I won't go into great detail of what we beheld because this is a family-friendly blog and it wasn't a family-friendly sight! The best description I could come up with is Mardi Gras meets Vegas, meets MTV Spring Break redneck edition. I will say the one positive note was the wonders it did for my body image issues: seeing enough middle-aged women with beer bellies clad in very skimpy bikinis made me look at my body in a whole new light!
|We saw many of these floating beer coolers along the way|